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One… but if you act now, for a limited time, you’ll get Two!

None. It’s not their light bulb.

The father answers: “Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway.

Your mom and I got together in a chat room on AOL. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mom and we met up at cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, I upgraded my floppy disk to a stiffy and then your mom agreed to do a download from my hard drive.

As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later, a blessed little pop-up appeared and said:

“You’ve got Male!”

As he walked away, Susy asked “So…what was wrong?” Wes replied that it was an ID ten T error. Obviously confused, Susy asked again, “Well, what is that? You know, in case I need to fix it again.”

Wes smiled and said, “Oh, you’ve never seen an ID ten T error?” Susy shook her head no. “Write it down and I think you’ll figure it out”.

………………

I D 1 0 T

because they were lost.

“Well,” St. Peter says to him, “It seems that you’re right on the edge of whether you go to heaven or hell. In fact, the scales are so even that you can choose which one you want to go to.”

“If I’m going to make that choice,” the salesman says, “can I see what the options look like?”

“Certainly,” St. Peter replies. “Let’s check out Heaven first.”

So they go through the Pearly Gates into Heaven… and it is idyllic. Stunning vistas, beautiful sunsets, everyone resting in a state of bliss, celestial music, delicious food and drink just an arm’s reach away.

“Wow,” says the software salesman. “That seems pretty nice.”

“In fact, it’s eternal bliss,” says St. Peter. “Now let me show you what Hell is like so you can make your decision.”

The salesman closes his eyes in fear and St. Peter snaps his fingers. “This is Hell,” St. Peter announces.

The salesman opens his eyes, looks around, and he’s shocked. It’s like a giant party in the world’s greatest strip club. Beautiful women, endless drinking, loud music. The ultimate in sex, drugs and rock & roll.

“This is not at ALL what I expected,” the salesman says, gaping at yet another stunning naked woman. “In fact, Peter, this is a lot more my speed. This is just like what I always hoped eternity would be like… I think I’ll stay here in Hell.”

“As you wish,” St. Peter says. And with another snap of his fingers, St. Peter vanishes… and the salesman finds himself shackled to a wall, engulfed in flames, surrounded by the screams and wailing of the other tortured denizens of his new home.

“Welcome to Hell!” the Devil announces.

“What!? What’s going on here?!” the salesman cries, “This is nothing like what I saw just a second ago.”

“Oh, that,” says the Devil, “You were looking at the demo.”

Types of Computer Viruses:
Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
Congressional Virus: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands back to 200MB.
Gallup virus: Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of error).
and my favorite…..
Politically correct virus: Never calls itself a “virus”, but instead refers to itself as an “electronic microorganism”.